Number 20 works every time!
1. What essay?
2. I did it, but I tore it up
3. I don't have any hands!
4. I'm dead
5. A burglar took it!
6. The Times Literary Supplement wanted to see it first
7. Up yours, four-eyes!
8. We're too poor to afford toilet paper and my father has dysentery
9. I was in a plane crash, and we had to eat each other's essays to survive
10. The police confiscated it
11. I know it all, what's the point in writing it down?
12. My desk caught fire
13. I'm undergoing a personality crisis
14. I posted it to you -- Huh, The Post Office these days...
15. I made this cool bookmark instead!
16. Everyone says you're pregnant so I thought you wouldn't be here today
17. You must be mad, I already gave it to you and you marked it -- i got an A
18. Look, just get off my back, will you?
19. Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick all over you
20. Did you say you wanted me to take all my clothes off!?
21. I was busy sending a list of escuses to a friend